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Story for Children Essay Examples
Part 8 - Examples of stories Good and articles Bad Writing. Learning to write often works best by example. The following are excerpts from nine first-year student essays. Most of the examples are bad, although I did find a two good examples in the bunch. In most cases, the names and dates from the essay stories children essays have been changed to not compromise the culture subject matter for future students (in other words, don't use any of the apparent research information here in your papers). I have tried to stories children, categorize the errors as best as I could. Errors or bad portions are usually bolded to essays, help you identify them. Smith was a religious, Christian man. His notion of monads included contextual references to God. He believed that God controls the harmony of life through these monads.
The essay then goes on to discuss these monads in a Christian context. Had the student omitted the above sentences, however, the discussion of religion would have been completely out of place, given the essay's topic. Children! But since the person being discussed had religious views that affected his theories and work, it is cheyney contest relevant to stories, mention the physical education paper religious aspect. Had Smith's religion not been a direct influence on his work, it would have been irrelevant. Similarly, you wouldn't mention other things about someone in stories children, an essay if it wasn't relevant to the topic. For example, it is organizational essays irrelevant to mention a scientist's race in an essay about their discovery unless the race impacted the discovery. Essay Children! An example of this might be if a black scientist's prime motivation to palestinienne dissertation, find a cure for sickle cell anemia was because that disease strikes black people in proportionally higher numbers. Stories! If the is the act essay out of same scientist was researching some aspect of physics, it would probably not be relevant to mention the race at all.
An introductory paragraph: On March 4, 1849, John Smith was born to Anna Bradcock Smith and James Smith. Although certainly not of stories humble origins, John was acquainted with several prominent and influential men of politics with whom he discussed matters of mathematics, history, science, logic, law, and theology. Smith was brilliant in each of these fields, but he became known particularly for his contributions in the fields of what score out of philosophy, mathematics, and logistics. This paper will not only essay stories shed light on some of Smith's theories and words regarding these three areas, but will also tell of the events in his life that made him the man that he was. This is the google introduction to a chronologically-ordered essay about Smith's life and discoveries. As such, the essay children choice to begin with his date of birth is a good one. The paragraph summarizes the fields touched by Smith and also mentions the key areas he studied. The paper sets up an expectation for the reader of cheyney ryan both a detailed explanation of Smith's discoveries and anecdotes describing his personality. The sentence structure is grammatically sound and flows well.
In the late 1650's , Smith's mother returned to London , she then pulled him out of school with the intent to essay stories, make him a farmer . Apostrophes indicate possessiveness or contractions, not plurality. The decade is the 1650s. The sentence is a run-on. It should either end after London, beginning a new sentence with She then, or the she then should be changed to and. To make someone a farmer is to articles essay, create a farmer for them. Essay Stories! The student meant: to turn him into a farmer or to encourage him to be a farmer. Smith invented the widgetiscope and paved the google organizational way for future widget watching.
All-the-while remaining a simple and stories humble man who considered himself to be part of teaching philosophy a team working for essay stories children the greater good. The bolded part is not a complete sentence. The entire thing should be one sentence. All-the-while does not require hyphenation. The two differing approaches of development already described, eventually led to the development of the two original branches of widgetry; fingleish and fnordleish.
This sentence is mispunctuated. Physical Teaching Paper! The comma is confusing and should be removed, and the semicolon should be a colon. Another of Smith's ideas was the method of differentiation. The university re-opened after the essay stories plague in 1667. Smith was elected to a minor fellowship, and awarded a major fellowship after he received his Master's Degree (Bogus 4). After the cheyney ryan realization that Calculus was important, and was being recognized, a document to record all of the theories became a necessity.
The Methodis Differantium, the document that contained the elements of the theory of stories differentiation, was created in 1667. Smith believed he was being pulled in two directions when it came to publishing his theories and making his work known. Culture! He felt a need for fame and fortune, yet on essay, the other hand he had an abundant fear of rejection. To the dismay of many future mathematicians, it was never published because of Smith's fear of articles persuasive essay criticism. Since he was not focusing on publishing his work, Smith pursued his career as a professor. This so-called paragraph is an utter mess. There are far too many ideas in essay stories children, it, all of which are strung together haphazardly without any logical flow. I'll try to dissect and rewrite it, but I won't make errors bold because the entire paragraph would be bold if I did. First, let's pick out the different topics being addressed: the method of differentiation the university re-opening after the plague Smith's ascension through the university ranks the need of a document detailing differentiation, which was eventually created Smith's mental state, desires and fears.
Now, if we replace each sentence with the number of the corresponding idea, we can see what a jumbled mess this is: 1, 2, 3, 4, 4, 5, 5, 4, 3. Don't introduce a paragraph with one topic and then leap to another topic in the next sentence. While it may sometimes be necessary to mention something as an aside to complement the what is the topic, the return to the topic should be swift and easy to understand. Essay Children! Don't bounce around within the paragraph as this student has done. Another problem: there doesn't seem to be a coherent timeline within the paragraph. Essays! Did the university re-open in 1667, or was the plague in 1667? Is the student saying that Smith was elected to essay children, a minor fellowship that year or another year? Similarly, when did the major fellowship and Master's Degree come in?
It's unlikely to have all happened in one year, though it is possible. The document was created in question palestinienne dissertation, 1667, it seems, but when did Smith decide not to publish and seek work as a professor instead? Also 1667? It sounds like that was a very busy year for poor Smith! The sentences themselves are also awkwardly constructed, making the entire thing hard to understand.
I'll make some assumptions regarding the confusing date information. Here is how this information should have been presented: Smith's ideas on essay stories, the method of differentiation were gaining recognition in the mathematical community, which made it necessary for him to produce a document detailing all of his theories on the subject. Thus, when the university re-opened in 1667 following the plague and articles essay Smith was elected to a minor fellowship, he wrote Methodis Differantium. Although Smith wished to essay children, attain fame and cheyney essay contest fortune, he also feared rejection.
This dichotomy resulted in his failure to publish Methodis Differantium; a failure that would be mourned by mathematicians well into the future. Still, Smith was awarded a major fellowship after receiving his Master's Degree in [insert year]. Since he was not interested in publishing his work, he concentrated instead on pursuing a position as a professor. Queen Esmerelda knighted Jones in 1705 to be given the title of Sir Joe Smith, which made him the stories children first scientist to be so honored for his work (Bogus) . The phrase to google culture essays, be given is awkward here. It would be better written: Queen Esmerelda knighted Jones in 1705, which gave him the title of Sir. Who else could be honoured for Smith's work other than Smith? It should say: . which made him the first man to be honored for essay scientific work. Cheyney Ryan Essay Contest! There probably should be a page number listed in essay stories children, the citation. Jones had a main idea of analytic geometry. What does this mean? Does the student mean that one of Jones' main ideas concerned analytic geometry?
Does he mean that one of the main ideas of analytic geometry was conceived by Jones? Or does he mean something else entirely? This makes little sense and is very awkward. Whether Smith made no use of the manuscript from which he had copied abstracts , or whether he had previously invented the widgetiscope, are questions on which at this distance of time no direct evidence is available . If Smith made no use of the manuscript, he can't have used it to copy abstracts. Question Dissertation! This is stories a very awkward way of score saying that the events in question happened so long ago that there is no longer sufficient evidence to answer certain questions. It would be better written: Questions as to whether Smith made further use of the manuscript from stories children, which he copied abstracts or whether he had previously invented the children widgetiscope are rooted so far in the past that it is impossible to gather sufficient direct evidence to provide answers. This is still a bit awkward. Essay Children! It's best when broken up into smaller sentences: There are still questions as to essay, whether Smith made further use of the manuscript from which he copied abstracts or whether he had previously invented the widgetiscope.
Such questions are rooted so far in the past, however, that it is impossible to gather sufficient direct evidence to provide answers. Smith formed a political plan to try to persuade the Germans to attack the French due to him not agreeing with their political agendas and children this proved the means of physical education his visiting Hamburg. Due to him not agreeing with is a very awkward way of saying: because he disagreed with. The second bolded part should be a separate sentence. Stories Children! Proved the means of his visiting is a very awkward way of saying is why he visited. Jones explained ideas too enormous to understand, and score simplified problems too complex to approach. Not only is this hyperbole, it's also logically impossible.
If the ideas were too complicated to understand, Jones couldn't have understood them himself. If the problems were too complex to approach, Jones could not have approached them. Mismatched Words, Phrases, and Pronouns. After marrying Elizabeth, Smith's father fell ill for several months. After no sign of recovery, a lawyer was summoned to the manor. Essay Children! A will was drawn up, including one hundred acres of question palestinienne land, the essay stories manor house, livestock, grain, and Smith Senior's death (Bogus 10). His mother gave birth to Smith three months after Smith senior died.
He was premature after suffering from illness due to the shock of her husband's passing during the fall . The phrase after no sign of recovery is not properly attached to Smith's father. Instead, it is dissertation saying that the lawyer did not recover from essay stories, something. Physical Philosophy Paper! A will does not include land, a house, etc. Essay Stories Children! It states to whom such things are bequeathed. This should say: A will was drawn up leaving one hundred acres of land, the manor house, livestock and grain to [whomever]. I don't even understand how and Smith Senior's death fits into this sentence. Dissertation! His in the sentence His mother gave birth. refers to essay stories children, the antecedent Smith Senior. Thus, Smith Senior's mother gave birth to Smith Senior's son. That would necessitate incest, and is clearly not what the student meant to what is the act essay, say. They should have simply said Elizabeth gave birth.
Who else but someone's mother gives birth to them anyway? Given the essay confusions regarding the various Smiths, it would have been better if the student had used first names during this part of the articles essay. There is inconsistency in stories children, capitalization. It is cheyney ryan essay Smith Senior once, and children Smith senior another time. The he in ryan contest, he was premature again refers to the wrong antecedent. Stories Children! Smith Senior was not premature. Smith did not suffer illness due to essay stories, the shock of Smith Senior's passing. Elizabeth did. This sentence says that Smith suffered the illness. The student suddenly introduces the phrase during the essay stories children fall when no other mention of the season has been made.
This could be confused with Smith Senior dying from a fall. Lastly, the inverse relationship between area and the tangent were never attained. The relationship is singular, even though it refers to multiple elements. Thus, the what is the act essay verb were should be singular as well, and changed to was. It was this century where many of the worlds most honorable and essay stories children highly respected mathematicians created what we know today as calculus. A century is not a place, it is a section of time.
Say it is children a place where. or a time when. In this case, It was this century when. Essay! Adding an 's' without an apostrophe in this case is pluralization, not indicative of teaching philosophy paper possession. The student means world's. But perhaps the essay stories largest obstacle , which the Greeks could not overcome, were their insufficient number and measuring system . Were is plural, but obstacle and system are singular. It should be was.
Tragically at the age of six, Smith's father died. This says that Smith's father died at the age of six. The student means: Tragically, when Smith was six years old his father died. Jones, now familiar with Smith's discoveries, wrote Smith a letter soon after the publication of cheyney ryan essay his discoveries. After the publication of whose discoveries: Jones' or Smith's? Jones reasoned that if he could calculate the angles of the projected colour, a new law of refraction could be made . People can make legal laws, but natural or scientific laws are discovered. Essay Stories Children! To make a new law of refraction, Jones would have to palestinienne, alter physics. During the seventeenth century, the inhabitants of England did not realize the stories importance of scientific advancement.
Inhabitants could well mean non-human creatures, and physical education teaching paper is thus a poor choice of a word. Are we to understand that ALL of the people in England failed to essay children, realize the importance of scientific advancement for an entire century? It would have been better if the philosophy paper student had said most people in England. At the current time, the dominant belief was that light traveled in wave . The current time is the moment the reader is reading the sentence. Essay Stories Children! The student meant to say that the belief was such during the historical time period being discussed.
Current should be omitted. Google Culture! The phrase in wave has an error. It should either be in waves or in a wave. Both may be correct, but such an error can be misunderstood if one is stories incorrect. Persuasive Essay! This would likely have been caught if the student had read the paper out loud. Secondly, Jones' reliance on geometric algebra rather than symbolic notation created considerable impedance to the identification of solutions of computational features found frequently to different problems. Here is an example of a student not knowing the essay stories proper meaning of a word. Impedance means opposition to the flow of electric current. Essay Stories! It does not mean the same as to impede, which is to be an obstacle. This could be an instance where a student used the thesaurus in a word processor to come up with a word without bothering to check if the word fit the context. It could also simply be that the student had mislearned the word themselves.
Incidentally, a quick check of stories MS Word 97 shows synonyms to impedance to be obstruction, block, baffle, hindrance, breakwater, fin, and maze. So here is direct proof that you shouldn't always trust what a word processor thesaurus tells you is an equivalent word. Essay Stories Children! Be diligent and look up unfamiliar words in the dictionary before using them in children, your essay. In studying widgetry, it serves as great importance that one is aware of the two systems of widgetry; fingleish and google organizational fnordleish. Something does not serve as great importance, and one being aware doesn't fit either.
This is a student trying to sound fancy but instead making no sense. The sentence should read: In studying widgetry, one should be aware of the two systems of essay children widgetry; fingleish and fnordleish. It was thought that Jones hated his stepfather and his mother, partly for abandoning him at such a young age. Who thought so? This entire statement, which implies something that cannot be proven and is thus not a basic fact, had no attribution in the essay. Since it was about what score someone historical and the student couldn't possibly have known this unless they got it from a source, it was plagiarism to include it without attribution. Smith managed one friendship through this time and the value of that is always questioned. Who is questioning the value? There is no attribution to explain who questions it or to prove that it is questioned by stories children, anyone other than the student.
What precisely is being questioned? The value of only having one friend, or the what is the act essay out of value of the one friendship to Smith in particular? . which means that the cut in the # of points is equal to the degree of the curve. Using the # symbol instead of the word number is essay children a bad short cut, and certainly inappropriate for is the out of a formal essay. Smith also helped to essay children, improve the scientific community ; his focus was mainly regarding widgetry. How does a focus on a subject help to google organizational culture, improve a community? It might improve the understanding of the essay stories subject in the community, but does that improve the community itself? This is a badly worded assertion. If it truly did benefit the scientific community as a whole, the student should cite a source demonstrating that to be the case.
No attribution was present. In one day, John's attitude towards school changed for the better. A boy ranked just above him kicked him in the stomach. At the essay end of the day John challenged the boy to a fight. Even though John was much smaller than his opponent, his determination overtook the boy.
Winning the fight was still not enough. John applied himself in stories children, class, and soon became the top student in the school. This entire paragraph introduces an anecdote for education philosophy the purpose of explaining what drove John to essay children, become a better student. Incredibly, it manages to completely fail to mention the relationship between the anecdote and John's new-found classroom enthusiasm. The relationship is implied and the reader can guess that John wished to beat the persuasive essay boy in more than just a physical fight, and thus worked hard to outrank the boy in essay stories children, the classroom, but that is not stated. The paragraph is very choppy and the sentences do not flow well. Read it out loud, and you'll hear how it sounds like a grade school book instead of persuasive essay a university essay. During this time, Smith constructed a water clock. He constructed the clock out of an old box.
This is choppy. Essay! It could be easily combined into one sentence. Jones became began to study motion. This error was probably due to a sentence that once legitimately contained the word became being edited without became being removed. Physical Philosophy! If the student had read the essay out loud or given it to a friend to read, this error likely would have been noticed. Yet, in 1679, Jones would discover that his initial calculation the Moon's distance from stories children, Earth was incorrect. Here is another example of a simple error of omission that could have been caught if the student had read the essay aloud or given it to a friend to read. The word of should be between calculation and the. That one small error makes the entire sentence awkward and confusing. If the instructor has to reread the sentence to try to understand its meaning, the flow of the persuasive essay essay is essay interrupted. If this happens often enough in the essay, it gives an overall bad impression on what otherwise might be a very good paper in terms of research.
More examples of errors that could have been caught if the students had bothered to dissertation, read their essay: One of Smith's main contribution was his use of. Widgetry emphasized the notion of the infinite widget, which in fact cam as a great service to Smith in children, that it served as an important too in helping explain his branch of widgetry. Jones might have in fact perputuated the question palestinienne ideas, but he was also at a loss when he could not make good sense of them from the beginning. Admiration for Smith grew in the filed of widgetry. With Jones' encouragement, Smith drafter a number of monographs on stories children, religious topics. Smith considers out universe to be a gravitational system. On August 10, 1777, Jones was ent a letter from. In later research , it was proven that Jones was incorrect and science rejected his theories about light until the next century. Thus, it was scientifically proven that Jones' theories about physical education paper quanta (tiny particulate packets of energy) were indeed correct . Essay Stories! The wave formulation was also correct . When was this later research?
Who performed the research? In discussing whether someone was proven incorrect or not, it is a good idea to fully explain who did the proving when, and possibly even how they came to their conclusion. These sentences contradict each other. Was Jones proven incorrect or correct? Does the student mean that Jones was erroneously proven incorrect, but science later found that he was correct after all? Or was Jones correct about some things and not others?
The use of Thus implies causality. How does the proof that Jones is incorrect and the rejection by science suddenly become scientific proof of his theory being correct? Regardless of persuasive what the essay children student meant by the flip from question, incorrect to correct, there is nothing given to establish causality. It's disappointing to see such sloppiness as this in an essay. This particular essay featured clipart, so it was obviously done on a computer with a modern word processor. It clearly wasn't spell-checked. Such complete disregard is automatically indicative of a student who doesn't care about their final product, and essay stories children while the error itself is essay stories children minor, it gives a bad impression to the grader.
In fact, this essay had several spelling errors that could have been caught. That's inexcusable at the university level. It was also during this time that he traveled to his uncle's place in children, Brunswick. Place is colloquial. Use home, apartment, residence or other such appropriate word instead. Smith attempted to obtain his doctorate of law degree at the University of Anytown but was denied because positions were being held for the older students -- and Smith was much too young. Smith's secretary claims that he was told many times, however, that Smith was denied admission because of negative feelings that the Dean's wife held for him. Smith's secretary is probably dead, since this essay is about someone from the 19th century.
Therefore, they no longer claim anything. It should be past tense. Since the student doesn't cite this, there is an implication that perhaps the secretary is not dead and the student went so far as to interview the secretary personally. That is, of course, quite unlikely, meaning that this student has plagiarised this information from one of their sources. The following are a few concepts that form the cheyney basis of Leibnizian calculus: [followed by three bulleted paragraphs comprised mostly of direct quotation] Using bullets in a formal essay is rarely appropriate. It is preferable to write out the essay children bulleted information into proper paragraph form. This student seems to have been too lazy to bother paraphrasing a bunch of direct quotations into a formal essay structure. Along came the cheyney essay Joe Smith, a mathematician considered by numerous scholars to be a pioneer of calculus, including other renowned mathematician, Bill Jones. The Joe Smith?
There has only been one? The student means another, not other. Sloppy. The first page of the essay starts with: have been developed (5). The second page starts with the header Introduction and the opening paragraph. Essay Children! Clearly, the student stapled the pages out of order.
What a sloppy mistake! Pages should be numbered unless you're specifically instructed not to for some reason, and you should always ensure that all of the pages are present and in proper order before binding the essay. If the instructor has to begin by figuring out teaching philosophy what the essay children heck is going on, they will automatically have a bad impression of your essay and possibly of you. Jones was quite a busy man in that along with his position in the Court of Mainz, he also managed to serve as Baron Johann Christian von Boineburg as secretary, librarian, lawyer, advisor, assistant, and google culture most importantly, friend. Quite a busy man is a bit colloquial. A busy man would do. The first as is an error, since Jones did not serve as the Baron, he served the Baron.
This may have been caught if the student had read their essay out loud. His Chummy, Bill Jones, who Smith shared a room with until his resignation from this fellowship in 1683. Chummy should only be included if it was Smith's actual word for essay stories children Jones. If this is the case, it is a quotation from a source and should be cited. If not, it is colloquial and should just say His friend Bill Jones.
Who should be whom in this case. A site called Grammar and contest Style has information on how to use who and whom. This isn't even a complete sentence. Smith was born prematurely and was so small when he was born that they thought he might not live. Repeating that he was born is redundant. Children! Who does they refer to? Doctors? Parents?
Relatives? Townsfolk? It is a pronoun without an antecedent. In this publication, Jones has a discourse between the belief systems of the natural philosophical world around him. Has is the wrong word here because the persuasive essay is about a person who is now dead. Essay Stories Children! Dead people don't have discourse with anyone in the present, so the word should at essay stories children, least be had.
But even had is awkward, and a better word would be wrote. Discourse means to essay stories children, converse, especially orally. One does not speak orally in a publication. It is written. This word should be omitted. Between denotes at cheyney essay, least two participants, but Jones is the essay stories children only one having the supposed discourse. This too should be omitted. Natural philosophical world is confusing. Google Organizational Culture! Does the student mean the children natural, philosophical world, which would be the world described as both natural and philosophical? Or do they mean natural philosophical world, in which natural modifies philosophical and not world, in which case the grammatically correct phrase would be naturally philosophical world? This would be better written as:
In this publication, Jones wrote of the belief systems of the natural, philosophical world around him. or, depending on the answer to articles persuasive essay, the fourth point: In this publication, Jones wrote of the belief systems of the children naturally philosophical world around him. He was home for approximately 18 months, according to Jones the 18 months was the most predominant time period of his life. This is a run-on sentence. Articles Persuasive! It should either end between 18 months and according, or it should be rewritten to make it a proper sentence.
18 months is repeated for no reason. 18 months is plural, so it should be 18 months were not 18 months was. Predominant means superior especially in power or numbers. Stories Children! Something cannot be most superior. Most should be omitted. Predominant is essay children not the best word in this case anyway. If the student means it was the most powerful time of Jones' life, they should be clear about that. If they mean it was the most superior numerical time of his life, then he logically cannot have been more than 36 months old. Simpson was content after his ability to stories, reproduce Smith's experiment. Jones was not that easy, the two men fought constantly. The student probably means that Simpson was content once he was able to reproduce Smith's experiment.
The current phrasing doesn't quite say that, and is awkward and confusing. Jones was not that easy to what? The student probably means Jones was not that easy to satisfy or something equivalent. This is a run-on sentence. It should end after easy, or be rewritten to be grammatically correct. Which two men?
Simpson and Jones or Smith and Jones? The information on physics before this section is important to understanding whom Newton was, but arguably, his greatest advancements were in the field of mathematics, most importantly Calculus. Incorrect use of whom. Should be who. A site called Grammar and Style has information on how to question, use who and whom.
There should not be a comma between arguably and his. There is no citation as to anyone arguing that Newton's greatest advancements were in mathematics. This might be because it would be difficult to prove in the face of the children importance of essay Newtonian physics. Advancements is essay probably the wrong word. Achievements or discoveries would be better. Essay Stories! Newton's advancements are more likely to stories children, be funds paid in advance of publication. The addition of stories children most importantly is awkward.
Particularly would have been a better word. Stories Children! The use of greatest and most importantly referring to Calculus is hyperbole. Given that this essay was for physical philosophy paper a Calculus class, it sounds like a kiss-up. The declarations of superiority are superfluous, unattributed, probably erroneous, and possibly pandering. It's all very ugly. A concluding sentence: Smith's great work, theories, and studies will continue to live on forever in the ever-changing world of science and mathematics . How can the student know that Smith's work will live on forever? That's an essay, impossible assertion to make. Google Essays! Work, theories and studies don't live. They exist, but they are not organic creatures. If the world is ever-changing, how again can the student know that Smith's work won't one day be considered nonsense?
Or lost entirely? World is singular, but it refers to two worlds, one of science and one of mathematics. This conclusion reeks of essay children hyperbole. Question Palestinienne Dissertation! (So does the phrase reeks of stories children hyperbole, but this is not a formal essay.) A scientist before Smith by the name of Jones knew that he could demonstrate the ration between two infinite sums. The phrasing here is articles a bit awkward.
It would be better phrased: Jones, a predecessor of Smith, knew that. Ration is the stories children wrong word. Culture! The student meant ratio. Stories Children! This is one of those errors that a spell-check cannot find, but if the essay had been read aloud it may have been noticed. One man was proclaiming to be the inventor of the widgetiscope and cheyney essay another man was proclaiming the exact same thing; who is telling the truth? The main problem here is the stories children change in tense. You can't go from was to is if the subject remains fixed in time. Culture! Furthermore, it is incorrect to refer to someone who is dead as doing anything in the present besides being dead (and possibly rotting).
A dead person is not telling anything right now, but they were in the past. Stories Children! Try to avoid using the persuasive passive form was proclaiming and instead use proclaimed. This particular statement is also bad because of the subject matter. The student has already shown in the essay that both men happened to independently invent the widgetiscope, but the issue is who deserved the title for essay children inventing it first . So actually, neither one was necessarily lying, and the student should not make it appear that one or the other may have been doing so. You must be careful not to libel people. The phrasing here is awkward and possibly a bit too conversational in the final question.
A better way of cheyney essay writing this would be: Two men proclaimed to be the inventor of calculus, but only one could be given the credit. The argument was so drawn out that a decision was not easy to come by which worked against Smith's favor. Jones had been considered the sole inventor of the essay children widgetiscope for fifteen years already, which gave him the upper hand. The student meant to say that the duration of the argument caused Smith to lose.
But because the student failed to put the necessary comma between the ryan bolded words, this sentence actually says, by means of children a complicated string of multiple negatives, that it was not easy to come to essay, a decision against Smith, meaning he won. This sentence would be better worded this way: Because the essay stories argument took so long, Smith lost. But then, at the beginning of the next paragraph, the student writes: The argument took years to unravel and never really came to a definitive decision. This negates what the student had asserted before: that Smith lost because of the duration of the argument. This also repeats the question palestinienne dissertation fact that it was a long argument, which is redundant. It was from the Greeks, where the underlying of widgetry emerged and set the basis of what widgetry has become. The Greeks are a people, not a place, so things come from whom, not where. The comma in essay stories children, this sentence should not be there.
It sets up an organizational, expectation that the portion after the comma is a separate clause, as in: It was from the stories Greeks, who also invented blodgetry, that widgetry came forth. Note that because the who is in the separate clause, it should not be whom. The underlying what ? You can't just say the underlying of widgetry. It has to act essay score out of, be the underlying something of essay stories children widgetry, whether that something is basis, foundation, etc. Although there was a time of intellectual heightening , there came a period of darkness in the development of mathematics (Ewards 45) . Intellectual heightening is an organizational culture essays, icky, awkward phrase. Intellectual development would have been much better.
In going over this old essay, I wondered if perhaps this was a typo of the name Edwards. I checked the children bibliography to confirm the name, and discovered that nothing by Ewards, Edwards, or any similar name was there at all. Essay! Had this gone noticed when the paper was being graded, serious questions would have been raised as to the validity of the student's sources and bibliography. Be sure to list all sources in essay, your bibliography, and palestinienne be sure to spell them correctly when citing! One motive of Sumerian algebra was to impose on essay stories, themselves a concepts that they could not fully understand and precisely compute, and for question palestinienne dissertation this reason, rejected concepts of irrational as numbers, all traces of the infinite, such as limit concepts, from their own mathematics.
Motive applies to Sumerian algebra, not Sumerians. Therefore, that motive cannot be imposed on themselves. It should be written: One motive of the Sumerians concerning their algebra was to impose on essay stories children, themselves. although that is still an awkward phrase. Concepts should not be plural. Essay Stories! This is sloppiness that probably could have been detected if the student had bothered to read over his essay. The sentence should end after compute. Essay Stories! A new sentence should begin, For this reason. The word they should be put between reason and rejected to say: For this reason, they rejected concepts. This sentence is so garbled with mismatched subclauses that adding another is just icky. I'd put such as limit concepts in parenthesis, or rewrite the cheyney sentence to bring that idea out on its own.
If Greek rigor had surmounted their need to succeed in these elements and stories children refused to use real numbers and limits till they had finally understood them, calculus may have never formed and mathematics as a whole would be obsolete (Apostal 102). The verb refused applies to Greek rigor, not Greeks, which is essay nonsensical. Be careful to ensure that your verbs match the subject you intend for them. Don't use till when you mean until. That's colloquial at best, and stories not really a proper use of the word at all at worst. The proper phrase is have never been formed. To say something never formed begs the question: What didn't it form? Even though there is a citation for this extreme declaration that mathematics as a whole would be obsolete, it's still probably hyperbole. I wonder if the source actually said that, or if the student's paraphrasing has overstated the source's point that mathematics might be different without the advent of essay stories calculus.
Be careful that you don't paraphrase in such a way as to claim a source said something that they did not. If this source really says mathematics would be obsolete without calculus, it's a bad source. Such a statement would render even basic arithmetic and counting as obsolete, which is ridiculous. Essentially , it is a case of Smith's word against a number of suspicious details pointing against essay stories, him. He acknowledged possession of a copy of google essays part of one of Jones' manuscripts, on children, more than one occasion he deliberately altered or added to important documents before publishing them, and a material date I none of is the act essay his manuscripts had been falsified (1675 had been changed to 1673) (Bogus, 78)
Essentially isn't technically incorrect here, but students do have a tendency to essay, use words like essentially and basically too often. It's somewhat conversational, and possibly colloquial. Try to avoid it unless something is cheyney ryan essay contest truly essential. A number of suspicious details pointing against stories, him is an awkward way of saying: suspicions of children his guilt. Stories Children! But what the student means is not suspicions, but points of evidence. When you list several examples of something you've indicated, the way to punctuate it is as follows (note the placement of the cheyney essay colon and subsequent semicolons): [Point being made]:[proof 1];[proof 2];[proof 3]; and[proof 4]. This way each proof can have punctuation such as commas without being confused with other points, and essay stories each proof still points to the main part of the sentence. This entire thing should be rewritten to say: It is a case of Smith's word against the evidence of his guilt: he acknowledged possession of a copy of Jones' manuscripts; on is the, more than one occasion he deliberately altered or added to important documents before publishing them; and his manuscripts had been falsified by changing 1675 to 1673 (Bogus, 78). After quoting a dictionary definition:
The editors of the famous dictionary are probably unaware of the fact that they have just committed a cardinal sin in the mathematical world , in stories, that they only described fingleish widgetry, and failed to include an explanation of fnordleish widgetry. It's okay to question a source, and at higher levels of education it might even be required. But if you're going to do it, be careful to essay stories children, do it well and with evidence. This just sounds presumptuous. The student has not shown whether or not the dictionary has separate definitions for essay children widgetry or otherwise accounts for its apparent lack of sufficient definition. Saying the dictionary is famous is probably unnecessary, and persuasive essay possibly hyperbole. A cardinal sin is a sin of fundamental importance. In the essay stories Judeo-Christian context, this would mean something very bad, like murder. Thus, calling a disagreement in definition in question dissertation, a dictionary a cardinal sin is definitely hyperbole. Even if it was a cardinal sin, the essay stories children sin was committed in the dictionary, not in the mathematical world.
The student meant against the mathematical world. It is surprising how people could be satisfied such a vague definition, as was the case in cheyney essay, Webster's Dictionary, on stories, a subject that has tested such great minds for centuries upon centuries . It is surprising how students could be satisfied with such drivel in their essays. Stories Children! That sounds nasty, doesn't it? That's because it is. Sentences like this are insulting and off-putting, and don't belong in a formal essay. Such great minds requires an example.
The word such should be omitted. Centuries upon centuries is redundant. Just say centuries and leave it at stories, that. Jones' first object in Paris was to make contact with the French government but, while waiting for such an essay contest, opportunity, he made contact with mathematicians and philosophers there, in particular Davis and Myers, discussing with Davis a variety of topics but particularly church reunification (Bugle 57). An object is a thing. The student means Jones' first objective. Essay! This is a bad run-on. It should be broken up like this:
Jones' first objective in Paris was to make contact with the French government, but while waiting for an opportunity to do so, he made contact with mathematicians and philosophers such as Davis and Myers. He discussed a variety of topics with Davis, particularly church reunification (Bugle 57). Smith's contribution to math has helped our society become more technological in building things . In this particular case, Smith made many contributions, not just one. Math is the colloquial version of mathematics. Google Culture! Did Smith's contributions only help our society? What about other societies?
More technological in building things is essay stories children a really awkward way of stories saying improved our technological aptitude. Undoubtedly, Jones was one of the greatest geniuses that ever lived and this paper will demonstrate that, starting from his childhood until his death . Smith may have been a genius, but to blow that up to essay stories, one of the greatest geniuses that ever lived is hyperbole. Even if it is true, the paper didn't demonstrate it because the paper didn't compare Smith to other great geniuses that have lived. The paper showed that Smith was a genius, perhaps, but not his rank amongst all of the geniuses that have ever lived. If you start from essay children, something, you go to or follow through to another something. The phrase starting from his childhood until his death actually means you're starting from the essay section of time inclusively between his childhood and palestinienne dissertation death and not saying where you're going. Furthermore, the paper does not start from Smith's childhood because it was not being written when Smith was a child. The student means, starting with his childhood and following through to stories, his death. That is still awkward, and the sentence would be best written: Undoubtedly, Jones was a genius, and this paper will demonstrate that by examining his entire life.
So John lived for is the score out of seven years with his mother's parents who did not really show him any affection . So in this context is colloquial and should be omitted. This really should be cited. John's address may be a matter of essay children public record and therefore doesn't have to is the score out of, be cited, but comments on the emotional quality of the household imply research, and the student should give credit to the source. Really is colloquial, and should be omitted. While at Cambridge, Smith's genius was most productive in his dedication to math . Who is Smith's genius? The student means Smith's intellect, but an intellect cannot be productive.
It facilitates productivity, but it is not productive itself. A better way to write this would be: Smith's intellect was best displayed in his dedication. Math is colloquial. It should be mathematics. This information helps us to understand how we, as humans stay on the ground; we are matter as well and do have an invisible force weighing us down as we push against it and it pushes back against us . This hand full of knowledge has helped our scientist understand our universe of heavenly bodies and their movement. Essay Stories! It has also allowed scientist to delve further in ryan, exploring our galaxy.
Does gravity only affect humans? Granted, the student is trying to essay stories, make the science seem more personal, but this is an awkward way of doing it. It is also something that seems to what, indicate an essay geared to essay stories children, children. While you should usually write essays so they can be understood by articles persuasive, laypersons, you can assume those laypersons are your age and intellectual peers. Essay! The description of the invisible force is very awkward. A better wording would be: do have an invisible force that we push against as it pushes back against us.
Gravity does not, in fact, weigh people down. The student's own definition of it earlier in the essay mentions this, and here too it is accurately described as a push, not a pull. To add in the bit about it weighing us down is contradictory. The student means handful. This is a bad description anyway, since the student is trying to show how this knowledge is monumental to google culture essays, scientists. Both instances of scientist should be pluralized. One delves further into something, not in it.
The Royal Society always had someone coming in each week they met to essay stories, show off their invention . Always had someone coming in is colloquial and act essay score awkward. Essay! It should say: The Royal Society hosted a guest each week. The second part of this is a separate sentence and should be capitalized and punctuated accordingly, or else brought into the first sentence with appropriate conjunctions. Show off is colloquial. Articles Essay! Demonstrate would be better. Since more than one invention was demonstrated, invention should be plural. A concluding paragraph:
Jones was a great man who made an impact in essay children, all of our lives . He is persuasive recognized as one of the centuries brilliant-minded people who helped to children, further math along. This intellectual man has created something which has and teaching will be used for years to come. This is an important part of history which will and should never be forgotten. The essay has shown that Jones was brilliant and invented some useful things. It has not, however, demonstrated that he was a great man. A great man is one that embodies greatness in essay stories, all things, including attitude, relationships with others, and their contributions to their society. Jones may have been all of this, but the essay did not reflect it, so it is hyperbole to articles, declare it in the conclusion. It is also a highly subjective comment; what makes someone great to one person may not for essay another.
Centuries is the plural of century, not the possessive. The student means century's. But Jones was not of our current century, so the student should define which century they mean. Impacts are made on, not in. If by what act essay score, all of us the student means everyone on the planet, this is incorrect. Children! Jones' contributions to mathematics hardly impact the life of essay stories children someone living in a non-literate, non-industrialized society.
Even if the student merely means her peers, it is still hyperbole to declare that everyone has been impacted. If you're going to mention that the person did something in your conclusion, mention what that something is. While it is unlikely that Jones' history will be forgotten, the student cannot effectively predict the future in this way. Some of these comments may seem nitpicky, but the fact of the matter is errors such as these reflect poorly on you and your essay. Essay! No one is perfect, and an essay with one or two awkward phrases won't be marked down just for google organizational those instances. Essay Children! But an essay that is full of the errors listed above prevents the reader from articles essay, understanding the content. If the instructor doesn't know what you mean, they can't possibly give you a good grade. Last updated in February 2005. Copyright #169 2000-2005 Kimberly Chapman. All rights reserved. This original work is available for distribution, provided the following: it is only distributed in essay, this complete form, it contains my name and copyright, it is not altered during distribution without my consent, and it is not used to generate income for anyone without my consent.
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AIDA: Attention-Interest-Desire-Action. It's hard to grab attention in our fast-paced world! Dear Jim, You have been specially selected. Calling all Parents. Every day we're bombarded with headlines like these that are designed to grab our attention.
In a world full of advertising and information delivered in essay, all sorts of children media from essay, print to persuasive, websites, billboards to radio, and TV to text messages every message has to work extremely hard to essay stories children, get noticed. And it's not just advertising messages that have to work hard; every report you write, presentation you deliver, or email you send is competing for your audience's attention. As the world of is the act essay score out of advertising becomes more and more competitive, advertising becomes more and more sophisticated. Yet the basic principles behind advertising copy remain that it must attract attention and persuade someone to take action. And this idea remains true simply because human nature doesn't really change. Sure, we become increasingly discerning, but to persuade people to do something, you still need to grab their attention, interest them in how your product or service can help them, and essay stories, then persuade them to physical education, take the action you want them to take, such as buying your product or visiting your website. The acronym AIDA is a handy tool for ensuring that your copy, or other writing, grabs attention. The acronym stands for: These are the four steps you need to take your audience through if you want them to buy your product or visit your website, or indeed to take on board the messages in essay children, your report.
A slightly more sophisticated version of this is AIDCA/AIDEA, which includes an additional step of Conviction/Evidence between Desire and Action. People are so cynical about advertising messages that coherent evidence may be needed if anyone is going to act! Use the AIDA model when you write a piece of text that has the ultimate objective of getting others to physical teaching philosophy paper, take action. The elements of the acronym are as follows: In our media-filled world, you need to be quick and direct to essay children, grab people's attention. Use powerful words, or a picture that will catch the reader's eye and palestinienne dissertation, make them stop and stories, read what you have to say next. Education Teaching Paper! You can learn another 142 communication skills, like this, by joining the Mind Tools Club. Learn new career skills every week, and get our Personal Development Plan Workbook FREE when you subscribe. With most office workers suffering from e-mail overload, action-seeking e-mails need subject lines that will encourage recipients to essay stories children, open them and read the contents. For example, to encourage people to attend a company training session on giving feedback, the email headline, How effective is YOUR feedback? is more likely to grab attention than the purely factual one of, This week's seminar on feedback. This is articles persuasive essay one of the most challenging stages in the AIDA model: You've got the attention of a chunk of your target audience, but can you engage with them enough so that they'll want to spend their precious time understanding your message in stories, more detail? Gaining the reader's interest is a deeper process than grabbing their attention.
They will give you a little more time to do it, but you must stay focused on their needs. This means helping them to pick out the messages that are relevant to them quickly. So use bullets and subheadings, and break up the text to make your points stand out. For more information on understanding your target audience's interests and expectations, and the context of your message, read our article on the Rhetorical Triangle. The Interest and Desire parts of the AIDA model go hand-in-hand: As you're building the reader's interest, you also need to persuasive, help them understand how what you're offering can help them in a real way. Children! The main way of doing this is by appealing to palestinienne, their personal needs and wants. Stories Children! So, rather than simply saying Our lunchtime seminar will teach you feedback skills, explain to the audience what's in it for them: Get what you need from other people, and save time and frustration, by learning how to give them good feedback.
A good way of building the reader's desire for your offering is to link features and stories children, benefits. Essay Stories! Hopefully, the significant features of your offering have been designed to give a specific benefit to members of your target market. When it comes to the marketing copy, it's important that you don't forget those benefits at this stage. When you describe your offering, don't just give the facts and features, and expect the audience to work out the benefits for themselves: Tell them the essay, benefits clearly to create that interest and desire. Essay Children! Example: This laptop case is made of aluminum, describes a feature, and leaves the audience thinking So what? Persuade the audience by adding the benefits.giving a stylish look, that's kinder to your back and organizational, shoulders. You may want to take this further by appealing to people's deeper drives. giving effortless portability and a sleek appearance and that will be the envy of your friends and co-workers. As hardened consumers, we tend to essay stories, be skeptical about marketing claims. Paper! It's no longer enough simply to say that a book is a bestseller, for example, but readers will take notice if you state (accurately, of course!), that the stories children, book has been in the New York Times Bestseller List for 10 weeks, for cheyney essay example. Children! So try to use hard data where it's available. When you haven't got the hard data, yet the product offering is sufficiently important, consider generating some data, for example, by commissioning a survey.
Finally, be very clear about what action you want your readers to take; for example, Visit www.mindtools.com now for physical education philosophy more information rather than just leaving people to work out what to do for themselves. AIDA is a copywriting acronym that stands for: Using the children, AIDA model will help you ensure that any kind of writing, whose purpose is to get the reader to do something, is as effective as possible. Google Organizational Culture Essays! First it must grab the target audience's attention, and engage their interest. Then it must build a desire for the product offering, before setting out how to take the action that the writer wants the audience to take. This site teaches you the skills you need for a happy and stories, successful career; and this is ryan just one of essay many tools and resources that you'll find here at education paper Mind Tools. Essay! Subscribe to our free newsletter, or join the Mind Tools Club and really supercharge your career! Sign-up for a month's trial of the Mind Tools Club by midnight, October 12 and get the Make Time for Success workbook FREE! Learn new career skills every week, and get our Personal Development Plan Workbook FREE when you subscribe. Sign-up for persuasive a month's trial of the Mind Tools Club by stories, midnight, October 12 and get the Make Time for Success workbook FREE!
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Essay contest: What has changed your life? Essay contest winners write about how birth and death have affected them. Everyone has had an event that has changed his or her life. Mine was the birth of my little brother, Matthew. My whole life changed with his birth, but sometimes change can be a good thing, even when it’s not expected.
When my parents first told me that they were having a baby and I would have another brother, but this time I’d be an older brother, I was full of emotions. I was happy and sad at the same time. My whole life was going to change and I wasn’t sure if I was ready. Back then, I did not know what a positive impact this event would have on my life. When Matthew was born (I picked out essay stories children his name, by the way) I could not stop smiling. There, in the bed, was this little “creature” my parents called their son. Not until I picked him up did I feel the weight of his life on what is the score out of my shoulders, and the weight of the effect I would have on him. I immediately felt I had more responsibility, and I was ready to do anything for my little brother.
My whole family took care of him, even the cat, and life was somewhat peaceful during those first few weeks. When my mom went out for the first time in essay stories children, months, I fed him a bottle, and although he spit up most of it and only drank a few drops, it was just as satisfying for me as for Matthew. I was there when he rolled over for the first time, and I was there when he took his first steps. I saw his first tooth come in, and I will soon see his first tooth fall out. I helped feed him his first solid food, which he spit up as well, and I heard him say his first word, “momma.” Even when he started talking more and more, he called me “Donadan,” which was sufficient considering Jonathan is essays, pretty hard to say. Essay Children? At least he was making an effort to talk to me. That was seven years ago, and question palestinienne Matthew and stories I are closer than ever. My older brother is a senior in essay children, high school and getting ready for college, so he does not get to spend much time with us.
My parents are constantly busy and when they’re not, they’re sleeping or doing something relaxing. Stories Children? And something relaxing in my house is organizational culture, anything that doesn’t involve Matthew. So that leaves me to spend time with my brother, which, although it is essay, often difficult and tiring, is palestinienne, quite gratifying. Stories? He may cheat in articles essay, checkers, but he is only doing that to win and get respect from his big brother. When he gets all 4s in first grade and says he is doing second-grade spelling words, I am just as happy as my parents. I baby-sit him constantly and we have fun, even though he is pretty much in essay stories children, charge. It’s a wonderful feeling knowing that my little brother idolizes me. I don’t know any other 7-year-old today who likes Cat Stevens, Marvin Gaye, James Taylor and Stevie Wonder more than the Wiggles. He knows all the essay children, words to dozens of essay Ray Charles songs, and he even has his own blues-y voice. But more than just my music rubs off on Matthew. When I got an electric piano for Hanukkah, so did he.
I haven’t had the time to schedule lessons, but Matthew is cheyney, learning to play every week. Of course we still play our “Heart and Soul” duet whenever we can. Like me, he would rather watch Scrubs and stories Seinfeld on question dissertation TV than SpongeBob, although I’m pretty sure he doesn’t understand them at the same level that I do. I can’t help but smile when I walk Matthew to stories children school or help him with his computer games. Persuasive Essay? He drives my family crazy, maybe me more than everyone else, but I still love him. I teach him things every day and he teaches me things too, most of them about myself. I’ve grown as a person since my brother was born, not just in age, but in responsibility and morality.
He comes before everything else in my life and rightly so. He’s probably caused multiple viruses on essay stories our computer, but I’m so proud that he knows how to use the computer (better than my parents). Every site I visit on the Internet he bookmarks in his folder. Although Matthew can still relate to kids his age, he is probably more mature than most of them just for having spent so much time with me. Children? Although I am in essay, intense classes and physical busy in my sophomore year, I sometimes feel like a little kid again as I unleash my inner child when I’m with Matthew.
Everything we do rubs off on each other. Stories Children? I didn’t really want a brother at google organizational, first, but now I wouldn’t have it any other way. Natalie Reed , 13, Wilson MS (Glendale) A lot of things have changed and affected my life. The most life-changing experience was the death of my mother. When I was young, around 5 years old, my sister Alisha died. Alisha was only 11 years old when she died and stories I don’t remember much about cheyney ryan her, but I’ve been told that she had a cold which got into essay children, her lungs and suffocated her.
Right now, Alisha would probably be starting college. My mom was so depressed about Alisha’s death that she committed suicide. I don’t remember a lot about my mom, just the way she looked, how she stood in front of the mirror putting on paper makeup, the stories, Rice-A-Roni dinners and the smell of bacon and coffee in the morning. Stories Children? I remember once, while we were in essay stories, line to get food from El Pollo Loco, she was eating MM’s and her tooth fell out. She just looked at it for a second and physical paper stuck the essay, tooth back in her mouth! I thought she was crazy!
It was so funny, but gross at the same time. Some people tell me that when you commit suicide, you go to ryan essay hell. I don’t know if I don’t believe it, or just don’t want to believe it. Stories Children? I miss my mom a lot, and try to picture how my life would have, or could have been, if she were still alive. I sometimes wonder if she was even thinking about me when she killed herself. Physical Paper? Did she not care? Did she think that it would be best for me? The worst part of all is the fact that I was still in the house when she slit her wrist, and sometimes I get so angry at her for that.
I was only children, 7 years old and clearly she wasn’t thinking about me or my future. Articles? When I get married, she won’t be there for my wedding. My kids will never have a grandmother from my side of the family. I will never have a mom to go shopping for bras with, and I will never have a normal life. I will always be haunted by the memory of what she did. Whenever someone describes slitting their wrist or anything about veins and arteries or anything that has to do with the stories children, details of articles it all, I get squirmy and chills go down my spine, and sometimes there is stories children, a tingle in my wrist. It irritates me until I calm down or forget about persuasive it, and I fear that the feeling will never go away.
I don’t understand; I can watch bloody shows where people are being cut open and blood is everywhere, like House and Animal Cops, but I can’t stand people talking about stories children veins. It gets spooky, and google organizational culture essays I wish that she would have thought twice before she did anything. My life will never be the same, and I will never have a mother. Michelle Stevenson , 16, John R. Wooden HS (Reseda) I know exactly what can change a person’s life in an instant. Children? What, you may ask? When I was 12 years old, my father was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. At this age I wasn’t very aware of score what cancer was or what it could do to essay stories children a person. I remember my dad couldn’t eat certain foods and he always had pain in his stomach.
I remember my father would always help me with my schoolwork and was my best friend. Physical? He taught me everything, from stories children how to use a computer to how to fish. He was the best blessing God gave me. No one could ask for a better father. He always went out with my sisters and persuasive essay me to essay children go salsa dancing. Persuasive? As a family we would have the best times in essay stories children, the world. When he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, my two sisters and paper I formed a salsa group called Triple Threat.
That year we performed in the fourth annual Salsa Congress. Stories? Unfortunately, during the cheyney, month of April my father failed his chemotherapy and was admitted to the hospital. I remember going to the hospital every day after school. Stories Children? He was so weak. On May 17, 2003, God decided to stories take my father to heaven. Essay? I was too young to understand what had happened. Of course I was devastated, crying every day.
My mother forced me to go to school the next day. Essay Contest? She said my father had always wanted me to do well in stories, school. At that age it didn’t hit me as much as it does today. I miss him so much. I always wonder what it would have been like to have him here with me during my teen years. Act Essay? There’s not one day when I don’t think about him. Children? I still cry at times. Persuasive? It’s so hard to lose a person that close. Essay? I was the most tomboyish of my three sisters, so that’s most of the reason I was closest to my father. Nothing can take away that pain.
The other day my mother and I were talking. Articles Essay? She, a widow at 42 years old, said she would try hiding her feelings and grieving from me because she didn’t want to show me her pain. She said she would cry every day after dropping me off at essay stories children, school. She would try her hardest not to cry in front of stories children me and it showed me how strong she is. Then when we were talking it hit me I don’t have a father. Stories? After three and a half years, that just hit me. Question? I will never have my dad to essay children walk me down the aisle. I will never have that father figure, and I lost my best friend who really understood me when I was growing up. It hurts me so.
Although I may not have all those things, I try every day to realize how beautiful life is. Ever since his death, my family has gotten closer. Ryan Essay? We realize that we have each other, and that’s what matters most. We have learned that family comes first before anything. In that way it helped.
I have also been really independent. I work, I do well in school, I pay for my own phone bill and soon will be able to afford my own car, and essay I dance. I also try every day to is the score appreciate that I have a beautiful family and a loving boyfriend. Essay Stories Children? So in articles persuasive essay, my opinion a death, no matter who it is, can change lives. My father was my hero. Essay Stories Children? I thank God every day that he was in my life. Cyndhl Imaysay , Paramount HS. We do not get a chance to choose our family, we just end up with whomever God has chosen for us. When I was young, everything seemed to be OK. But as I got older, I began to organizational culture notice that my father was getting more and more verbally abusive.
Not just to my brother and me, but to essay stories children my mom as well. When I first noticed the verbal abuse, I thought that maybe someone had done something or said something to make my dad upset. My dad would yell at us and call us names, and then he would calm down and act as if nothing had happened. Question Palestinienne Dissertation? But as the years went on, he started yelling and essay stories children screaming obscenities at the drop of a hat. We were very careful about what is the score what we said and did around him, afraid that we might tip him off. I felt as if I was always stepping on eggshells. I eventually got tired of the yelling and name-calling and started to talk back to my dad.
I was raised not to talk back to my elders, but when you’ve had enough, you’ve just had enough. One afternoon I was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show and essay stories children they were doing an episode on domestic violence. I paid close attention to google culture what they were talking about. Children? Ninety percent of what they said described how my dad was acting. I knew that my dad was verbally abusive, but I didn’t know that his actions fell under the category of domestic violence. I used to be a very fun-loving child. I had a lot of persuasive friends and made new friends quickly. Stories? My friends would hang out at my house and organizational I would hang out at their houses.
As soon as my dad started to act the way he did, I was embarrassed to invite any of my friends over because I was afraid that he would yell for essay stories no reason. I was a normal child, but as the abuse went on I noticed that my attitude started to change and I was always fatigued and hungry. I eventually went to see my doctor about my symptoms and he told me that I had borderline depression. He said that it wasn’t bad enough for medications, but he scheduled sessions with a social worker for me. I would go into the sessions calm and collected, but as soon as the physical education, social worker asked me how I was doing, I would cry. Stories Children? I had so much pent-up anger toward my father that I couldn’t say anything. All I could do was cry. My mom, brother and I left my dad back in articles, June. We are now living with my grandmother and my two older siblings. We’re not totally healed from the domestic violence, but life is so much better now.
Everything seems to be getting back to normal. I keep telling myself to live one day at a time and not focus on what has already changed, but for essay the changes yet to physical education teaching philosophy come. Yajaira Hernandez , Wilson MS. It wasn’t even worth it, the stories, delicious food I missed out on. Pasta, meat, pizza and even ice cream. All because I wanted to is the act essay out of be perfect. I saw models on TV who had perfect bodies.
Some models looked as skinny as a stick and essay stories children healthy. I wanted to be like them, with the perfect waist and google organizational body. So I started to starve myself. I wasn’t fat, but not perfect. I ate a little at breakfast (sometimes not at essay, all), rarely at lunch and a little at dinner. I drank water and orange juice all the google essays, time. I became very impatient when I saw that not eating wasn’t helping me become thinner. So I went to the bathroom and children threw up. Physical Paper? I was desperate. Every time I finished eating, my stomach ached.
I felt it full so I emptied it in the bathroom. By sixth grade I weighed 70 pounds. I was pretty skinny, but not satisfied. It came to a point where I was vomiting, not on children purpose, and headaches were killing me. What Is The Act Essay Score? My stomach hurt and I could barely move myself around. My friends were worried about me. They were worried I would end up in a hospital. Stories? They forced me to question palestinienne eat many times. I ignored them and essay told them to essay stories leave me alone. Essay? My parents were too busy to see that I had a problem because we were going through a money crisis. But there was one person who noticed my eating disorder.
My babysitter took me to the doctor one time. I was there to get shots but she took the time to essay children talk to the doctor. The doctor was concerned about essay stories my weight. She showed me pictures of girls who suffered from anorexia and contest bulimia. It was gross seeing how skinny they looked. She explained that this can cause stomach cancer and even lead to death. Because of throwing up, there’ll come a point when the body will not want any food. The body does not get all the nutrients it needs and slows down; eventually, it stops working. Some of the pictures showed girls in essay stories, bed with a tube stuck to them. The girls in the photos were so thin; you could see all their rib bones and essay stories backbones. She said you soon get thin hair and are always cold.
I started to cry because I didn’t want to end up that way. I wanted to live a long and healthy life. After that day, I changed the stories, way I acted. I was a new girl. I was in treatment and followed guidelines that the doctor recommended. Today I look like a normal teenager. I’m a happy girl who blends in cheyney, with the essay children, other girls. I’m still not fully recovered but I visit my doctor regularly. I still wish I had that perfect body that a model has.
However, I am glad I changed my decision. Like most teenagers, I got a part-time job to earn some extra cash, but ended up learning a valuable lesson instead. I started working at a retail department store four months ago. My first day on physical education philosophy paper the job was nerve-wracking because everything was hands-on training. Essay Stories Children? After what felt like an incredibly long day of work, I realized that I had only worked for four hours at what score out of, $6.75 an essay stories children hour! I continued going to physical education philosophy work feeling cheated for all the essay children, back-breaking work I was assigned to complete for minimum wage. Working in retail has changed my life for stories the better. It has made me realize that I can’t do that for the rest of stories my life.
I refuse to. Persuasive Essay? I would much rather do something that involves me using my brain because when I stand there folding clothes, I feel brain dead. I want something better for myself and working there has helped me realize that. Since I’ve started working, my grades have improved dramatically. Essay Children? Last semester, I am proud to say I earned a 4.0 GPA. I have dedicated much of my time to applying for financial aid and scholarships. Question Palestinienne? Knowing that I don’t want to essay stories end up folding sweaters has motivated me to focus more on the future. Before, I had no idea what I was doing. I didn’t know if I was even going to college. Stories? My horrible job was a real eye-opener for me.
I want something better for myself. About a year and stories children a half ago I got into a car crash that was horrible. That moment changed my view about life entirely. All my life I had been waiting until I could get my driver’s license and my first car. When I finally got my license and my dad brought the question dissertation, car to the house, I was thrilled. From that day on, the most important thing in my life was that car. Every day I would get home and see what else I could do to essay stories children make it better. My car was my pride and joy and when I had fixed it up into is the out of, “perfect” condition, I finally began to drive it. Every time I got into my car I felt invincible, as if nothing could stop me. But one day I was shown that just like every other person, I could be broken. One night after finishing up my errands, I was in the car with my friends.
I felt unstoppable while driving. But soon enough I was shown that I wasn’t. While driving down a main street I felt the car start to skid and it kept skidding to the point where I lost control. At this point time wasn’t moving slow enough and when I realized what was happening, the only thing I could do was swerve the car so the impact would be on my side, and so I did. After the crash I don’t remember much, but I do remember the pain I was in, not only physical but also the thought that the stories, lives of stories others were in my hands for essay a few seconds and essay stories I may have dropped them. One thing led to another and I was in essay stories children, the emergency room getting stitched up. Persuasive Essay? I didn’t sleep much that night but when I finally did wake up, I was in a lot of essay pain. Persuasive? But I also began to essay children see things in articles persuasive, a different light. The memory of that day will never leave me, but what I learned from that experience I’m glad for. Essay Stories Children? Not only did I learn that I need to have a lot more appreciation for things, I also learned that material things should never be the essay children, most important things in your life. All that time that I spent working on the car could have been spent getting to know my family better.
I have also become a much humbler person who realizes that I can bleed just like everyone else, and I am grateful for that. Sometimes you need to essay stories go through rough moments to come out with the best. Having a car was what I waited for dissertation all my life, but now just being alive is a blessing for me. Every day of essay stories children one’s life should be made the best because you don’t know how many you have left. Letter to an inanimate object. When one of our teen staff writers told us that she heard someone reading a letter to an inanimate object on National Public Radio, we thought that would make a great essay question.
We all have objects that we have such strong feelings for that they become almost like a person with his or her own personality. Here is your chance to essay stories tell them how you feel. Write a letter to an inanimate object to tell it what it means to you. It could be an object that makes you happy, like a favorite stuffed animal, or on object that drives you crazy, like a locker that always jams. It could be an essay stories everyday object or something special that you cherish, like a necklace that a parent gave you.
Share how it has affected your life in a positive or negative way.
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St. Bonaventure, Benedict XVI, and the New Evangelization. For Benedict XVI, evangelization is what takes place when revelation slips through history. The timing and intent of Pope Benedict XVI’s call for a “New Evangelization” have as much to do with his theological and pastoral pedigree as they do with the state of affairs in which the essay stories children, Church lives. His early contributions to the topics of revelation, human history, and the relation between the two—which brought the young Joseph Ratzinger both praise and charges of championing “dangerous modernism”—today assist the essay stories children, Church in engaging modern ills with the enduring truths of the Gospel. Of course, with a mind as expansive as Pope Benedict’s, no one event, or even a series of stories, them, can be said to persuasive essay be “the” development that defines him. Certainly, his upbringing in Catholic Bavaria, his forced participation in World War II as a teenager, and his days among bomb-damaged seminary buildings studying St. Stories! Augustine, Henri de Lubac, Romano Guardini, Martin Buber, and so many others all influenced who the man is today. Articles! Still, not every encounter with the past has equal influence. Joachim of Fiore, St. Bonaventure, and salvation history. In the essay stories, mid-1950s, Father Joseph Ratzinger began work on his second doctoral thesis—a standard requirement of the German theological academy.
The study would introduce him to education teaching philosophy paper a dramatic moment in Church history, when rumors of the world’s end and the coming of a new age clashed with Christian orthodoxy. The players in this drama were Joachim of children, Fiore, an eccentric 12th-century Italian abbot; St. Bonaventure, a 13th-century leader of the Franciscan Order; and an overly idealistic group of Franciscans known as Spiritualists. Ratzinger concluded that Joachim, Bonaventure, and the events of the 13th century brought to the Church a “new theory of dissertation, scriptural exegesis which emphasizes the historical character” of Scripture. Essay! This new theory was, notably, “in contrast to the exegesis of the palestinienne, Fathers and the Scholastics which had been more clearly directed to essay stories the unchangeable and the enduring.” In finding value in such a view, Ratzinger aligned himself with a school of theologians that sought fresh approaches to orthodox Christian theology. Evidence for this new view of revelation came from available notes from lectures by Bonaventure given in response to the followers of Joachim, the mystic whose writings had enthralled a troubled Europe. This attraction came, in large part, from how Joachim wove worldly activity into salvation history, and articles persuasive essay, the particular way in which he structured this interplay with biblically-inspired numerical schemes. For instance, Joachim’s numerology broke ranks with a long-held Augustinian view of time that divided world history into seven ages.
For Augustine, these seven ages corresponded to the six days of creation—with the cosmic clock now ticking in the sixth age (which dawned on stories, the first Easter) while moving towards the seventh age (which would bring the eternal Sabbath rest). Joachim saw history in a Trinitarian light, which encouraged his readers to envision an age of the Father, corresponding to the Old Testament; an age of the Son, corresponding with the New Testament; and a yet-to-come new age of the Holy Spirit, which would complete the articles persuasive essay, process of revelation. Stories! For some of Joachim’s followers, this new age would be one of spiritual awakening—of a new reality with no need of the Cross. Joachim’s death in 1202 and an ecclesial condemnation in 1215 didn’t diminish his following. Physical Philosophy Paper! Quite the opposite occurred. Because Joachim seemed to imply that the essay, year 1260 would herald the Second Coming, soldiers, kings, and cheyney ryan essay, clerics of the age couldn’t help but wonder if the world was indeed ending. Were Muslim invasions signs of the Apocalypse? Were the growing mendicant orders proof that God was preparing a people for the eschaton? And if so, how should one respond to—or work to bring about—this coming of a new age? With this heightened expectancy, and for children reasons related to Trinitarian dogma, 13th-century theologians denounced Joachim’s writings. Organizational! But for some Franciscans, Joachim had merely stated the obvious: History as it had been known since the time of the Apostles had come to an end with the coming of Francis.
Joachimist elements within the Franciscans became known as the Spiritualists, and they found themselves at odds with just about everyone else in their order and the Church. In 1257—three years before what many thought would be the Second Coming—the deeply divided order elected Bonaventure of Bagnoregio as their Minister General. In his new role, Bonaventure was given the task of steering the entirety of his flock to orthodoxy—which he accomplished. Indeed, as a pastor, he intervened with sensitivity to the range of expressions and stories, beliefs within the order. As a leader entrusted to protect the work of his beloved Francis, he deftly negotiated ecclesial suspicions and Spiritualist fervor by discarding what had been condemned and retaining those elements of Joachim that had value. Cheyney Ryan Essay Contest! As Ratzinger will demonstrate, Bonaventure found much in Joachim worth salvaging. For instance, we learn that Bonaventure employed a division of essay, world-history that had similarities to Joachim’s. Ratzinger found this particularly important because in adopting some of what Joachim suggested, Bonaventure not only provided the Spiritualists a road home, he also shifted Christianity’s theology of history from an Augustinian view, which fixed Christ at “the end of the ages” to a new interpretation with Christ firmly in “the center of the ages.” Ratzinger tells us that, thanks to Joachim, the essay, placement of children, Christ at the midpoint of history allows Bonaventure to teaching philosophy paper emphasize the “historical character” of engaging Scripture because, while all ages relate to the center, all ages are different. This is essay stories children where Ratzinger received criticism for holding a “dangerous modernism,” which he writes about in question palestinienne dissertation, his memoirs, Milestones . The exact charge by one of his advisors—and supported by other theologians—was this: In championing Bonaventure’s historical character of biblical exegesis, Ratzinger would open the door to “the subjectivization of the essay children, concept of revelation.” That is, the meaning of revelation would be reinterpreted by each generation to the point of ryan contest, irrelevance to the human person.
This is, of essay, course, not what Ratzinger proposed, and articles, after polite revisions and a heated battle among his advisors, Ratzinger’s doctoral thesis on Bonaventure was accepted. He was free to present his findings to the wider, ecclesial world. For the future pontiff, Bonaventure’s appreciation of Joachim’s dynamic theology of history seemed an obvious reality for the medieval Church, and it should to us. By the 12th century, it was clear that history had not been idly waiting for the Second Coming, nor was the Church. History was in motion.
It was unpredictable, bloody, and brought to humanity new realities—some of them surprisingly wonderful, but many replete with loneliness and desolation and, thus, always in children, need of essay, Christ. At the children, end of his thesis, Ratzinger makes a statement that may very well define his pontificate. He notes that while for Bonaventure it is true that for now “the breath of a new age is blowing, an articles essay, age in essay, which the desire for the glory of the other world is shaped by a deep love of this earth on which we live,” what remains vital for both Augustine and Bonaventure, irrespective of is the act essay score out of, their differences, is the pastoral exhortation that Christians must attend to the needs of the here and now—“that the Church which hopes for peace in the future is, nonetheless, obliged to love in the present.” The unchanging Gospel and the New Evangelization. Thus, the essay children, central reality of the Church is the point of children, contact between revelation and our individual and communal moments of the essay stories children, present . Joachim and his followers, however, offered a tempting, and false, alternative path—one that still has its adherents. In the cheyney ryan contest, 1970s, Ratzinger wrote in essay, his opus on persuasive essay, eschatology that “the hope aroused by Joachim’s teaching was first taken up by a segment of the Franciscan Order, but subsequently underwent increasing secularization until eventually it was turned into political utopia. The goal of the utopian vision remained embedded in Western consciousness, stimulating a quest for its own realization and preparing the way for that interest in concrete utopias which has been such a determinative element in political thought since the 19th century.” This is not the only reference to Joachim one finds in Ratzinger’s later writings. His work on eschatology will return to Joachim, and essay stories children, many of his texts, talks, and homilies will raise the google organizational essays, specter of the paradise-is-in-our-reach worldview that Joachimist thought unleashed.
To counter the resulting Western hope for better living through chemistry, economics, and political revolutions, Pope Benedict, like Bonaventure, offers Christ’s unchanging Gospel of love. In Caritas in Veritate , his third and most-recent encyclical to the Church, the essay, Holy Father writes that “[t]he Church’s social doctrine illuminates with an unchanging light the new problems that are constantly emerging.” Indeed, when one examines Ratzinger’s post-Vatican II commentary on revelation or his pontifical homilies and encyclicals, one repeatedly finds him insisting that the unchanging light of stories, Church doctrines—which participate in and shine forth from the unchanging light of revelation—has the power to elevate whatever that the Church encounters. For Benedict XVI, then, evangelization is what takes place when revelation slips through history. Like a ship’s bow cutting the seas, revelation lifts and aerates.
It also divides, because revelation offers a choice—it offers an encounter with a Person, and, should we wish, we need not stay and get to know Him. In announcing the upcoming Year of Faith—which is inherently linked with New Evangelization—the Holy Father notes that “[o]ne thing that will be of decisive importance in this Year is retracing the children, history of articles persuasive essay, our faith, marked as it is by the unfathomable mystery of the essay stories children, interweaving of holiness and what is the act essay, sin. While the former highlights the essay stories, great contribution that men and women have made to the growth and development of the community through the witness of their lives, the latter must provoke in each person a sincere and continuing work of conversion in order to experience the mercy of the Father which is held out to everyone.” In other words, the call to is the out of New Evangelization is not a new reality for the Church. Rather, it reminds the children, Church of its command from essay Christ to offer eternal truths, to struggle and give witness to these truths, and, thus, to essay sacramentally embrace the ills of score out of, any age with divine doctrines—and to do so not with idyllic plans for a happy tomorrow, but with the Cross of sacrifice and by essay loving in the present . Pope Benedict repeatedly reminds us that Christian love, when authentic, is sacramental because it offers transformative hope and meaning. Whether the Pontiff speaks of eros and agape , global economics, or global ecologies, or he attempts to shift the anthropological understanding of marriage, life, and death, he offers what might be called sacramental social doctrines —teachings that in themselves foster necessary shifts in what he has called our inner attitudes . What Act Essay Score! In transforming these attitudes, people and cultures can live, love, work, buy, and sell with a greater concern for children their neighbors, their labor force, and physical teaching, their ecosystems. In offering the Christian proclamation that God is love , men and women can grow to understand that marriage is not a societal celebration of stories, sentimental or biological urges. Palestinienne! Rather, marriage exists for reasons that transcend the happy couple.
It is meant for essay stories children the conception, nurturing, and protection of future generations, all in the particular, gender-inclusive bond of love between a woman and a man. Reacquainting the modern world with such truths—and doing so firmly and with charity—is one facet of New Evangelization. What New Evangelization is not, the what is the, Pontiff has expressed quite clearly, is the essay stories children, fruit of human planning. It is not the ushering in of a new, worldly Christian kingdom—the collapse of Christendom should have taught us this. And it is certainly not a Joachimist fervor that denies the Cross, or ignores the will of the God who mounted it. Indeed, the New Evangelization is a pastoral response to a world that grew up Christian, learned about history as progress from Joachimist worldviews, and now suffers angst without the life source of Joachim’s original foundation—Jesus Christ.
The New Evangelization is also a reminder to many of the faithful, especially in the West, that the Church of essay, 2050 will, outwardly, look unlike the Church of 1950. In laying out his thoughts on New Evangelization in 2000, Cardinal Ratzinger speaks with Bonaventurian force when he teaches that “[n]ew evangelization cannot mean: immediately attracting the large masses that have distanced themselves from the Church by using new and more refined methods. Essay Children! No—this is not what new evangelization promises. New evangelization means: never being satisfied with the essay, fact that from the grain of stories, mustard seed, the great tree of the Universal Church grew; never thinking that the fact that different birds may find place among its branches can suffice—rather, it means to dare, once again and score, with the humility of the small grain, to leave up to God the when and how it will grow (Mark 4:26-29).” Georgetown: Sebelius isn’t a commencement speaker, she’s speaking at an “event during commencement weekend”
Legatus files lawsuit challenging the HHS mandate. “Mother!” and the God of the Bible - Catholic Crossing: […] “Mother!” and the God of the Bible […] “Mother!” and the God of the essay stories children, Bible -: […] Read full article […] Cardinal Parolin: When protecting kids in the digital world, don’t forget the peripheries -: […] Read full article […] Puzzle-Plot Mysteries and Their Golden Age. When modern mystery readers ponder the is the score out of, genesis of the genre, Arthur Conan Doyle and Agatha Christie come to mind. Children! All-but forgotten are S. S. Van Dine, Dorothy L. Sayers, J. D. Carr, Earl derr Biggers, […]